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I took a great hike this weekend. It was nice to get out and among nature, especially after the week of ash filled air. There is a fire down south east of Ventura near the 5. Last week the winds were working up towards us and they filled our atmosphere with ash. The sky was the sort of orange you only expect to see in science fiction, or in paintings done by people who have never actually seen the sky, but only imagined it. The top of my car was covered with enough ash that it really looked like it had snowed the day before. And, I guess it ashed. And, let me tell you, it is very difficult to make an ashman. Far easier to create an assman. In any case. The ash filled sky, while strangely beautiful, is gone which made it easy to take a hike on Sunday. We went up to San Roque and took the Arryo Burro trail. My friend was complaining about some small thing, like a bear chasing us, or her leg needing to be amputated, and I said "You are really negative! I think we are going to change this hike into Positive Attitude BootCamp!" So, the rest of the hike I would bring up how We did things at Positive Attitude Bootcamp. Until she got so sick of hearing about Positive Attitude Bootcamp that she pushed me off of a cliff edge. As, I was plummeting to my death I called out "That's the right attitude! We at Positive Attitude Bootcamp commend your efforts at taking charge!"
I am going to CostCo today. When I think of stores like CostCo I always think first of mayonnaise jars that are big enough to allow infants to swim in them. If infants could swim. As a former infant I have to say I am against making infants swim in mayo. Perhaps in mustard. But, I have never noticed mustard jars of that size there. Only the mayonnaise. Which says to me that people like their mayo. I won't get my mayo there. I will get Eggo brand frozen waffles, and chicken. Which makes one think of Tapeheads. But, this is not John Cusack related at all and I would prefer if you kept your Hollywood gossip to yourself.
I admit that I am obsessed with the Office. I think it is probably the best show on television right now. Especially, considering Arrested Development's demise. It has consistently funny well written episodes with drama that is engaging and makes sense. If you have never seen it, you really should see it. I would see the British version first, but they are both great. I don't know what would happen if you watched the US version first and went to the UK version, since I went the opposite way. It's a great show! And, I like it even better with Ed Helms on it. Although, Rob Corrdy is funnier. I looked around for his new fox sitcom, but I saw nothing of it. Man, he was great on the daily show.
I need to get over to the Y and join this week. I got financial aid the last time I joined. (When I first typed that it came out Financial Laid. I don't like the idea of getting financially laid at the Y. The guys in the locker room have really hairy feet. Like Hobbits, only grayer. They are probably older than Bilbo Baggins. Who was a hobbit.) So, I am going to try for that again. I would like to use the treadmill for running, an elliptical machine because all my life (since 2001.) I have wanted to use one because this girl I liked said it was like exercising on the moon. I have never been to the moon, and neither has she, but I trust her judgment.
You know what really surprises me? Next summer will be 10 years that I have lived in California. That's catching up to the amount of time I lived in Philadelphia. Amazing! Well, I guess it would take an extra 8 years or so to actually catch up. But, still double digits here. Neat.
I am trying to grow a goatee. Well, I am letting the hair grow. It's not like I am taking hair growing medicine or pulling the hairs out. I just wanted to see if it would grow in and or connect. Because, when I did it in college it never ever connected or grew in all the way. I think I might have hair like the Iranian president who looks suspiciously like Steve Carrell (to go back to our office conversation. Remember that? I sure do.) with patches and whatnot all over the place. It's been a little over 2 weeks now. We'll see how it goes.
I told my friend about the goatee attempts and she requested a picture. I tried to use my digital camera to take one. But, for some reason no matter how I did it I ended up looking like some sort of reptilian creature that captures souls and then eats the souls that he has captured and each soul makes him more repulsive, and he has eaten a lot of souls. Not to sound all emo. But, my protractor didn't have angles nearly big enough to allow me a picture that looked normal. So, I went in my bathroom, where my mirror makes me look very unmonsterlike and I took a picture that way. That worked out much better. Problem solved. Now, I just need to make it so people always everywhere see my mirror image.
Next month I am taking a Vegas trip! Yay! I haven't decided between driving and flying, but I am leaning towards flying. That will be the most fun a person can have!
You know? I would really like to have a Gorilla Costume. They are so cool. Of course, I never ever dress up for Halloween so I have very little reason to have one. But, aren't they cool? And then for once I would be prepared for National Gorilla Suit Day.
Speaking of which. I don't know if it is because I am an old fogey who can't stand young people, or because I am smart and know whats what and what is good and what is not. But, the modern day Mad Magazine is for shit. They have some funny stuff once in awhile. But, there are fucking ads, and that is obscene. It turns it into just another magazine. Also, they make a Mad Jr.? WTD? The whole point of mad magazine used to be that you were too young for it. If your Mom looked at it, or a teacher found it it was gone. Mad Jr? Yeah. That has a point. Asses.
Speaking of halloween. Candy from costco! Also, my roommate and I are going to have a pumpkin carving party. Which equates to him and his girlfriend and me carving pumpkins. So, not a wild crazy packed party. But. Hey pumpkins and fun!
Where can I feed ducks? I have no idea where to go to do that. And, believe you me, I have looked. There are ducks at the zoo, but the signs say no feeding the animals. And, I believe in signs. Like, I believe in you.
I am going to CostCo today. When I think of stores like CostCo I always think first of mayonnaise jars that are big enough to allow infants to swim in them. If infants could swim. As a former infant I have to say I am against making infants swim in mayo. Perhaps in mustard. But, I have never noticed mustard jars of that size there. Only the mayonnaise. Which says to me that people like their mayo. I won't get my mayo there. I will get Eggo brand frozen waffles, and chicken. Which makes one think of Tapeheads. But, this is not John Cusack related at all and I would prefer if you kept your Hollywood gossip to yourself.
I admit that I am obsessed with the Office. I think it is probably the best show on television right now. Especially, considering Arrested Development's demise. It has consistently funny well written episodes with drama that is engaging and makes sense. If you have never seen it, you really should see it. I would see the British version first, but they are both great. I don't know what would happen if you watched the US version first and went to the UK version, since I went the opposite way. It's a great show! And, I like it even better with Ed Helms on it. Although, Rob Corrdy is funnier. I looked around for his new fox sitcom, but I saw nothing of it. Man, he was great on the daily show.
I need to get over to the Y and join this week. I got financial aid the last time I joined. (When I first typed that it came out Financial Laid. I don't like the idea of getting financially laid at the Y. The guys in the locker room have really hairy feet. Like Hobbits, only grayer. They are probably older than Bilbo Baggins. Who was a hobbit.) So, I am going to try for that again. I would like to use the treadmill for running, an elliptical machine because all my life (since 2001.) I have wanted to use one because this girl I liked said it was like exercising on the moon. I have never been to the moon, and neither has she, but I trust her judgment.
You know what really surprises me? Next summer will be 10 years that I have lived in California. That's catching up to the amount of time I lived in Philadelphia. Amazing! Well, I guess it would take an extra 8 years or so to actually catch up. But, still double digits here. Neat.
I am trying to grow a goatee. Well, I am letting the hair grow. It's not like I am taking hair growing medicine or pulling the hairs out. I just wanted to see if it would grow in and or connect. Because, when I did it in college it never ever connected or grew in all the way. I think I might have hair like the Iranian president who looks suspiciously like Steve Carrell (to go back to our office conversation. Remember that? I sure do.) with patches and whatnot all over the place. It's been a little over 2 weeks now. We'll see how it goes.
I told my friend about the goatee attempts and she requested a picture. I tried to use my digital camera to take one. But, for some reason no matter how I did it I ended up looking like some sort of reptilian creature that captures souls and then eats the souls that he has captured and each soul makes him more repulsive, and he has eaten a lot of souls. Not to sound all emo. But, my protractor didn't have angles nearly big enough to allow me a picture that looked normal. So, I went in my bathroom, where my mirror makes me look very unmonsterlike and I took a picture that way. That worked out much better. Problem solved. Now, I just need to make it so people always everywhere see my mirror image.
Next month I am taking a Vegas trip! Yay! I haven't decided between driving and flying, but I am leaning towards flying. That will be the most fun a person can have!
You know? I would really like to have a Gorilla Costume. They are so cool. Of course, I never ever dress up for Halloween so I have very little reason to have one. But, aren't they cool? And then for once I would be prepared for National Gorilla Suit Day.
Speaking of which. I don't know if it is because I am an old fogey who can't stand young people, or because I am smart and know whats what and what is good and what is not. But, the modern day Mad Magazine is for shit. They have some funny stuff once in awhile. But, there are fucking ads, and that is obscene. It turns it into just another magazine. Also, they make a Mad Jr.? WTD? The whole point of mad magazine used to be that you were too young for it. If your Mom looked at it, or a teacher found it it was gone. Mad Jr? Yeah. That has a point. Asses.
Speaking of halloween. Candy from costco! Also, my roommate and I are going to have a pumpkin carving party. Which equates to him and his girlfriend and me carving pumpkins. So, not a wild crazy packed party. But. Hey pumpkins and fun!
Where can I feed ducks? I have no idea where to go to do that. And, believe you me, I have looked. There are ducks at the zoo, but the signs say no feeding the animals. And, I believe in signs. Like, I believe in you.
